Mind Spark # 31 - We Don’t Act Rationally; We Rationalize

This week, Brain Food Insights shared a quote from software engineer Billy Markus:

"People are not rational. They are rationalizing. Once you understand this simple fact, all the oddest human behavior will suddenly make way more sense."

This quote took me back to something I read a while ago. At that time, I hadn’t yet developed the habit of reflecting deeply on ideas. This time, I’m putting those reflections into practice, drawing on the framework I wrote about in Mind Spark #26: The Underlined Life: From Highlights to Habits.

Emotion comes first, logic follows.

We often think we make decisions based on logic. In reality, emotions usually lead, and logic comes after. We feel something first, then find reasons to support it. That’s just how people are.

For leaders, knowing this difference is key. If we expect people to act only with logic, we’ll often feel frustrated by resistance or hesitation that seems “illogical.” However, when we observe that people are guided by emotion and then justify their decisions with logic, we can lead more effectively by meeting both emotional and rational needs.

Here are some key points for leaders:

1. Communicate with empathy

When sharing ideas or changes, we need to connect with both people’s minds and hearts. Facts are important, but feelings shape decisions. If a change makes people feel valued, empowered, or safe, they’ll find reasons to support it. If it feels like a threat, they’ll find reasons to resist.

For example, when we pitch a new process to a team lead, rather than saying, "This new process will increase your team's efficiency by 18%," try using Matt Abrahams' four-sentence structure for pitches: What if… So that… For example… That’s not all…".

Here’s how it might sound:

"What if there were a process that made your work smoother and freed up your team’s time? So that your team could focus on solving complex challenges and brainstorming innovative strategies. For example, tackling high-priority projects more effectively while reducing routine bottlenecks. And that’s not all, it could also increase overall efficiency by 18%.”

When we start with a ‘what if’ scenario to build an emotional connection and show we want to help, not threaten. Then, give clear examples and highlight efficiency gains. This way, we lead with both heart and logic, making it easier for people to get on board and succeed. By the way, I really like Matt’s framework, it’s clear, versatile, and can easily be adapted to other contexts, such as presenting an idea like above mentioned, selling a product or service, or delivering a strong elevator pitch.

2. Motivate with emotion and meaning

People are motivated by more than pay or numbers. Purpose, belonging, and recognition matter too. When someone resists, it’s not always because they don’t understand; it might be because they feel unheard or not recognized.

Leaders can respond by asking, "I sense some hesitation. What concerns you most about this change?" When leaders understand the emotions behind resistance, they open the door for honest conversations and stronger alignment.

3. Stay humble and self-aware

Leaders also rationalize and should regularly pause and ask ourselves, "Am I doing this because it’s right, or just because it feels right and I’m justifying it?" This honesty brings us closer to being authentic. Noticing our own rationalizations builds integrity, patience, and emotional intelligence.

Understanding this “irrational logic” in people doesn’t make us cynical. It helps us become wiser, more patient, and more human.

Reflection question: Which of Markus’s insights speaks to you, and how will you use it in your work or leadership today?

#MindSparks #LeadershipInsights #EmotionalIntelligence #HumanBehavior #SelfAwareness #EmpatheticLeadership