Mind Spark #13 - The 5:1 Rule: Unlocking the Quiet Power of Listening

Inspired by the book "Rich Kids: How to Raise Our Children to Be Happy and Successful in Life" by Tom Corley.

“ Life is about rising above your self-interest and getting into the habit of treating the other people as important.., when you make that a habit, you own them (people).”

In my previous blog post, Mind Spark #5 - Influence Starts with Listening: A Quiet Superpower, I shared what I've learned about listening as a foundation for influence: how being fully present builds genuine connection. If you're anything like me, you might catch yourself mentally preparing your response while the other person is still talking or even rushing to jump in. But it raises an important question: What is the right balance between listening and speaking?

One answer comes from Chapter 18 of Rich Kids, where author Tom Corley introduces the 5:1 rule, the idea that we should aim to listen five times every time we speak. It's a simple yet powerful concept. When we talk too much, especially when we interrupt or rush to respond, we risk missing what is clearly stated and left unsaid. Listening more gives others space to express themselves and gain deeper insight into their challenges, needs, goals, and aspirations at work and in life.

More importantly, listening more makes people feel heard, respected, and valued. Doing so creates space for trust, empathy, and meaningful connection, which builds strong relationships. The more we listen, the more people will open up, and the more weight and impact our words will have when we speak.

Next time you talk to colleagues and team members or chat with others in the breakroom, try the quiet superpower and see what happens.

“All you have to do is ask questions and listen."

 #BuildConnection #CommunicationSkills #QuietLeadership #PersonalGrowth

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