Mind Spark #27 - 3 Simple Ways to Build Stronger Relationships at Work
- Shujian Zhang
- Oct 8
- 2 min read
Inspired by Alyssa Birnbaum’s TEDx Talk, “3 Simple Ways to Build Stronger Relationships at Work.''
In her TEDx Talk, psychologist Alyssa Birnbaum shared a story many of us are familiar with: working hard, achieving results, but still hearing, “You need to connect better with people.” That feedback stuck with her. Years later, while pursuing her PhD, she focused her research on burnout and workplace engagement.
She discovered something important: burnout is not just about having too much work to do. Often, it comes from feeling disconnected. People do better when they feel noticed, supported, and part of something meaningful. When the pandemic took away casual hallway chats, many people felt lonely, highlighting the importance of connection in feeling purposeful.
In her research on high-quality connections, Birnbaum found that a single genuine exchange can be as powerful as many small interactions. These connections do not have to happen in person. Even video calls with cameras on can help us bond if we are present and caring. Such meaningful interactions can trigger feelings of safety, trust, and vitality, making the workplace a more supportive and engaging environment.
In this talk, she offers three simple ways to strengthen relationships at work:
Expand by going beyond polite greetings. Try asking open-ended questions such as, “What was the highlight of your weekend?” instead of just, “How was your weekend?” Also, we should open ourselves up and provide more detailed answers. This approach enables us to build stronger connections with colleagues.
Overlap. Find common ground by looking for shared interests, humor, or even small details in your surroundings. Discussing sports, games, books, or music that you both enjoy can lead to more engaging conversations and stronger connections. Asking good questions is key in these first two steps.
Show you care by being fully present. Put away your phone and computer when someone is speaking to you. Listen closely, share a laugh, and engage genuinely. People notice when you give them your full attention, and it makes a real difference.
We spend almost a third of our lives at work. More than just meeting deadlines, the workplace is where we learn, grow, and find a sense of belonging. Building strong relationships with colleagues not only makes work more enjoyable, but it also gives it greater meaning.
A quick chat by the coffee machine, a friendly exchange before a meeting, or having lunch together in the break room, these can all become powerful opportunities to connect. Each conversation is an opportunity to build trust, understanding, and a sense of community.
Leaders play a key role in nurturing these connections. By setting aside time for genuine conversations, listening with empathy, and being fully present, they help create a culture where people feel valued and heard.
Which of these simple practices will you bring into your week?
#RelationshipBuilding #TeamConnection #EmotionalIntelligence #Attention #WorkplaceCulture #MindfulLeadership
