Cultural Adaptation at Work: A Manager’s Quiet Lessons

Photo kindly provided by Mr. Guangyong Mao, Editor-in-Chief of Chinese e Life.

During a recent panel discussion hosted by the North Carolina Chinese Business Association, one topic was “Cultural adaptation for international students: insights from managers.”

On the panel, time was limited, and I could only share a few quick points. Afterward, I found myself wanting to say more, not because I had perfect answers, but because these lessons were learned slowly, sometimes awkwardly, through years of working across cultures in both academia and industry.

If I were to distill what I’ve learned so far, it comes down to three things that quietly shape success in cross-cultural workplaces: communication, boundaries, and relationships.

1. Communication: Clarity Over Complexity

Communication is one of the most underrated skills in any workplace. For those of us who didn’t grow up in Western culture, and especially those working in a second language like me, it becomes even more critical.

When I first came to the U.S. and started working in academia, I often felt nervous speaking up. My vocabulary felt limited, and I worried about saying the “wrong” thing. Over time, I learned something simple but freeing: clarity matters more than complexity. Using simple words is not a weakness if the message is clear. In fact, it often makes the message stronger.

• Don't be shy to ask questions. This is the first obstacle we need to overcome. Like me, you might feel judged for not being competent to ask basic questions or embarrassed to use the wrong word, as discussed above, but not asking clarifying questions could cause potential issues. It is critical to speak up early if we are unsure about something before it is too late.

• Speak up more in group meetings. However, silence can feel safe at first, as I’ve been there for a long while. But over time, staying quiet can unintentionally indicate less engagement or a lack of confidence. In many Western workplaces, silence isn’t interpreted as humility; it’s often read as a lack of interest or ownership. Speaking up doesn’t require perfect language; it requires presence.

• Developing speaking and presentation skills. These skills are a must for any job. Looking for opportunities to practice, like Toastmasters meetings, helped me realize that communication isn’t just about sharing information; it’s about being clear, logical, confident, and connecting with the people in the room. Visibility often starts in the meeting room, as I discussed in the post "Visibility Starts in the Meeting Room."

• Embrace self-advocacy. It took me a while to shift my mindset: sharing my work is not bragging. Growing up, we were taught to be modest and let results speak for themselves. But in professional settings, especially in industry, sharing progress with supervisors and stakeholders is simply part of the job. It’s not self-promotion; it’s keeping others informed.

  
  

• Knowing who we want to become. In addition to sharing progress on our current work, it’s important to regularly talk about where we’re headed, our career goals, and the professional development opportunities that support them. Having a clear sense of what we want to become helps us move with intention, rather than simply reacting to what comes next. Harvard Business Review had a great article on How to Talk to Your Boss about Your Career Development, and I highly recommend reading it.

• Communicate with empathy and emotional intelligence. Communication isn’t only what we say, but how and when we say it. The tone, timing, and intent often carry as much weight as the message itself. You can find more about my reflections on effective communication in this post: Navigate Workplace Dynamics with Integrity and Emotional Intelligence.

• Lastly, but equally important, supervisor alignment matters more than you think. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned is the importance of getting aligned with your supervisor from the very beginning. Taking the time to clarify expectations, priorities, and communication styles not only sets the stage for success but also builds a strong, collaborative relationship that can support you through challenges and growth. The best way to communicate and build a relationship with a supervisor is to adapt to their style, as suggested in Michael Watkins's book The First 90 Days.

”Assume that the job of building a positive relationship with your new boss is 100 percent your responsibility. In short, this means adapting to his style.”

Clear communication builds trust. When it lacks clarity or is absent, trust fades without notice until it’s too late.

2. Boundaries at Work: Feedback Isn’t Personal

This was one of the most significant adjustments I had to make as a manager.

In many Asian cultures, including my own experience in China, personal and professional relationships are often deeply intertwined. In many Western work environments, they are treated as more separate. Feedback can be direct and sometimes blunt, but it usually isn’t personal.

Over time, I learned that it’s possible to think, “I don’t agree with your approach, but I like you as a person to hang out with after work." Those are two different conversations.

Learning to give and receive feedback without becoming defensive or taking it as a reflection of personal worth is a critical skill.

One small but powerful mindset shift helped me: Work is work. People are people. Don’t confuse the two.

Once I internalized this boundary, feedback became less threatening and far more helpful, not just for my work but for my professional growth.

3. Build Relationships with Intention

Earlier in my career, I believed results were everything. Results do matter, but experience has taught me this: sooner or later, everything at work comes down to people. People can help move things forward, and they can quietly slow progress, too.

Relationships are the foundation of collaboration, influence, and support.

Building relationships doesn’t have to be dramatic or forced. More often, it starts small: casual check-ins, a few minutes of conversation before meetings, or simply showing up early and consistently.

Participating in team lunches, happy hours, or informal gatherings helped me understand the culture in ways no handbook ever could. I shared a few related thoughts in 3 Simple Ways to Build Stronger Relationships at Work.

Helping others has been one of the most genuine ways to build trust. Giving before asking creates goodwill that no title or authority can replace. I often return to Zig Ziglar’s reminder:

“You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

In Breaking Barriers by Lifting Others, I reflected on how everyone grows when we help one another. I hope you find it useful.

Final Thoughts

You may have heard the term “bamboo ceiling,” introduced by career coach Jane Hyun in her book Breaking the Bamboo Ceiling: Career Strategies for Asians. She describes it as “a combination of cultural, organizational, and individual factors that impede the career progress of Asian American talent inside organizations.”

As a first-generation Chinese American professional, I’ve felt these barriers not always loudly or visibly, but in quiet, subtle ways that can make it harder to thrive or fully step into leadership roles.

For me, cultural adaptation is often the first barrier we encounter. But adaptation doesn’t mean losing who we are. It means expanding our range by learning when to adapt, explain, and lead with integrity and emotional intelligence.

I’m still learning. These aren’t rules, just reflections from the road so far. If you’re navigating a similar journey, I hope these notes help you feel a little less alone and a little more confident that growth, even when uncomfortable, is always possible.

Thanks for reading!

#CulturalAdaptation #ChineseAmericanProfesionals #BambooCeiling #ProfessionalGrowth #QuietLeadership